Growing up there has been multiple random occasions where I will wake up in the middle of the night and feel some sort of darkness present. I cannot visibly see anything in my room but some sort of darkness is suppressing my room and I am terrified. To the point where my heart is pounding and I am completely restless. This happened to me last night. I woke up from a dream that had quickly panned to a terrifying individual and I woke up immediately and had this fear seemingly closing in on me as I lay in bed. In my mind I was trying to distract myself from the overwhelming sense of fear, but I couldn’t! Now I was frustrated because I was wide awake at 3:00 in the morning.
Growing up I’ve heard scary demonic stories of things people have experienced in their homes, or things people are capable of seeing in the physical. I pray to God I will never see anything that terrifying, because I wouldn’t be able to handle it. But I have no doubt in my mind that beyond this physical world, there is a spiritual world that affects our physical world.
Anyways, as I was laying in bed in the midst of this thick sense of fear I was reminded that I have a choice of what I surrender to. Nothing can hold us in captivity unless we give it the power to control us. This fear may have come in with a strength that seemed overwhelming but I still had a choice of whether It would continue to control my ability to rest.
Then this got my mind thinking of all the things we surrender ourselves to. I know I have chosen to surrender to many things that actually bring me to a place of feeling trapped, for example, other people’s happiness. That has been a huge one for me! Constantly making decisions that make other people happy so that I can feel a sense of value. Trying to please other people and allowing others satisfaction with me to become the motive behind my decisions. When in actuality who I am at my core was created intentionally, to make an impact. But sometimes that impact is made when conflicting views/ beliefs cause an uncomfortable conversation. That very conversation could change either my perspective or could cause the other individual involved to think twice about the truth they are believing in. I would suggest that the biggest change in our character occurs in the most difficult of situations, if we choose not to take the comfortable route, just to please other people.
What we surrender to ultimately is what our trust is placed in. We can surrender to the idea of success, hoping that success will take us to a place in life where we will be truly happy. We can surrender to lies and allow those lies to determine how we look at ourselves and others and the world. We can surrender to stereotypes and believe that we will only ever be whatever label society has stamped on us. We can surrender to a lifestyle of comparison and continue to live our lives wrapped up trying to be like or become better than another person. We can surrender to people's expectations of us and just live up to what is expected of us to accomplish instead of pursuing whatever passions bring us alive. We can surrender to pain that was afflicted upon us and allow that to determine the course of our lives.
Personally I’ve surrendered my life to many things, as I’m sure most have. I’ve placed my trust in my own ability to motivate and muster up enough passion and drive to accomplish something important. But still I find myself lacking everything that I am trying to produce in myself. I want to impact, I want to encourage, I want to motivate. I want to wake up with passion for life, with a zeal and a reason to do what I do everyday. But in and of myself I have been unable to do this in my own strength.
Looking at my life this far the times when I have felt most alive, most passionate and ready to wake up in the mornings, were the times when I surrendered to a God who is beyond what I can understand. I have gone through some rough seasons in life where I’ve questioned God and everything I’ve been told about him, and honestly some things I’ve been taught about God are false. But regardless I’ve wrestled with the idea that He accepts us exactly as we are. I’ve wrestled with the truth that he has a plan for my life, that he is a good leader, that he can provide, that he cares about my hopes and dreams. But even these things in my wrestling He has proven to be true.
I really believe that as we allow Him to, God will teach us the truth. So when there are moments in life when it feels like darkness is suppressing all the good, I can figuratively stare darkness in the face with confidence knowing it’s not in my own ability that I will overcome the dark, but God is always with me keeping me going forward. That's why I can confidently choose to surrender the moments of my life to him.
Everything in my above blog has been a personal experience of my own, but I'd love to hear from you! What is your personal experience with surrender, and what do you do when life begins to feel dark and your passion has faded?
Thanks for reading my blog!
~Emily Hopf
Growing up I’ve heard scary demonic stories of things people have experienced in their homes, or things people are capable of seeing in the physical. I pray to God I will never see anything that terrifying, because I wouldn’t be able to handle it. But I have no doubt in my mind that beyond this physical world, there is a spiritual world that affects our physical world.
Anyways, as I was laying in bed in the midst of this thick sense of fear I was reminded that I have a choice of what I surrender to. Nothing can hold us in captivity unless we give it the power to control us. This fear may have come in with a strength that seemed overwhelming but I still had a choice of whether It would continue to control my ability to rest.
Then this got my mind thinking of all the things we surrender ourselves to. I know I have chosen to surrender to many things that actually bring me to a place of feeling trapped, for example, other people’s happiness. That has been a huge one for me! Constantly making decisions that make other people happy so that I can feel a sense of value. Trying to please other people and allowing others satisfaction with me to become the motive behind my decisions. When in actuality who I am at my core was created intentionally, to make an impact. But sometimes that impact is made when conflicting views/ beliefs cause an uncomfortable conversation. That very conversation could change either my perspective or could cause the other individual involved to think twice about the truth they are believing in. I would suggest that the biggest change in our character occurs in the most difficult of situations, if we choose not to take the comfortable route, just to please other people.
What we surrender to ultimately is what our trust is placed in. We can surrender to the idea of success, hoping that success will take us to a place in life where we will be truly happy. We can surrender to lies and allow those lies to determine how we look at ourselves and others and the world. We can surrender to stereotypes and believe that we will only ever be whatever label society has stamped on us. We can surrender to a lifestyle of comparison and continue to live our lives wrapped up trying to be like or become better than another person. We can surrender to people's expectations of us and just live up to what is expected of us to accomplish instead of pursuing whatever passions bring us alive. We can surrender to pain that was afflicted upon us and allow that to determine the course of our lives.
Personally I’ve surrendered my life to many things, as I’m sure most have. I’ve placed my trust in my own ability to motivate and muster up enough passion and drive to accomplish something important. But still I find myself lacking everything that I am trying to produce in myself. I want to impact, I want to encourage, I want to motivate. I want to wake up with passion for life, with a zeal and a reason to do what I do everyday. But in and of myself I have been unable to do this in my own strength.
Looking at my life this far the times when I have felt most alive, most passionate and ready to wake up in the mornings, were the times when I surrendered to a God who is beyond what I can understand. I have gone through some rough seasons in life where I’ve questioned God and everything I’ve been told about him, and honestly some things I’ve been taught about God are false. But regardless I’ve wrestled with the idea that He accepts us exactly as we are. I’ve wrestled with the truth that he has a plan for my life, that he is a good leader, that he can provide, that he cares about my hopes and dreams. But even these things in my wrestling He has proven to be true.
I really believe that as we allow Him to, God will teach us the truth. So when there are moments in life when it feels like darkness is suppressing all the good, I can figuratively stare darkness in the face with confidence knowing it’s not in my own ability that I will overcome the dark, but God is always with me keeping me going forward. That's why I can confidently choose to surrender the moments of my life to him.
Everything in my above blog has been a personal experience of my own, but I'd love to hear from you! What is your personal experience with surrender, and what do you do when life begins to feel dark and your passion has faded?
Thanks for reading my blog!
~Emily Hopf